Wednesday, March 9, 2011
We were beside each other, naked and all, when all all of a sudden, someone knocked on the door. I heard a woman's voice. Danny?
We both jumped. My heart almost jumped out of my chest when I heard that familiar voice.
In this dead of night? Why would she all of a sudden knock on our door? Thinking about nice timing.
“Wait a minute!” Gian shouted from inside our room.
We were both panicking as we try to cover ourselves with whatever article of clothing we could get out of the mess we created. I decided to just hide under the sheets and pretend to be asleep so that Danny won’t anymore bother us.
Gian on the other hand managed to grab his wife beater shirt and boxer shorts and wore it at lightning speeds. Even I was shocked at how quickly he was able to dress up and act as if nothing happened. “Hmmm, he’s so used to this.” I thought.
Gian immediately opened the door, smiled and greeted Danny who was apparently been waiting by the door for what seemed like eternity.
“What’s with you guys?” Gian started to stutter as Danny looked at him with arms crossed in front of her bossom. My eyes opened suddenly when I heard Danny’s question. Gian, sorry for putting you on the spot…
“C’mon, what took you so long?”
Gian looked at Danny in disbelief and I heard his deep sigh of relief as he answered Danny. All we thought was that Danny was asking what’s the real score between me and Gian. Thank God it was far from our paranoia.
“Sorry, I was almost asleep when you knocked. Marky there was sleeping like a log so I had a hard time trying to push him aside without waking him up.”
“What an excuse. You were the one who always sleep like cooking oil.” I thought to myself as I secretly rolled my eyes.
“Well, uhm, sorry to bother you guys, but I just want to ask if you have extra pillows?” Danny’s voice suddenly changed as she tried to peek inside the room, probably trying to check whether I was really asleep.
Gian went to the cabinet and pulled two extra pillows.
“Here. You can take this.” Gian said to Danny, still smiling.
“Oh, gee, thanks. Actually we only need one. Rina was somewhat a little irritating, trying to grab the pillow we were sharing so I thought I could just borrow one from you guys. Anyway, thanks for this one!” Danny said, finally smiling at Gian.
“Oh, no problem at all. You can take both so that you’ll have a more comfortable sleep. Sorry for not putting enough pillows on your room. Mom probably forgot that there will be three of you girls that’ll sleep here.”
“Sorry again for disturbing. Uhm, you may go back to sleep. By the way, I would just like to tell you that your, uhm, shirt is on the wrong side.” Danny sort of giggled. Gian immediately looked down on his shirt. I, on the other hand began to giggle silently.
“Oh, sorry. Uhm, I’ll change it. Good night!” Gian immediately closed the door as soon as Danny left.
“Whew!” was the only word that escaped Gian’s mouth.
“Haha, we were almost caught there!”
“Well, yeah, except this stupid shirt.”
Gian began to remove it so he could wear it correctly but I tried to pull him towards me after taking off the shirt.
“You were funny back there.”
“Yeah right. If you’d only saw how desperate I look, you would surely have shown some sympathy. I didn’t know how to react at her question. Good thing she cleared it out before I could answer.”
“Aww, sorry beshie. Haha. But you gave a good excuse there, even though it’s actually a lie!”
“Ha! Really now, you always sleep like a log dear!” Gian said in an affirming voice.
“Well, you do too!” And we both started laughing, although we kept it at a low so that no one would hear us.
Since we’ve both been interrupted twice already for the night, we just decided to hit the sack. While we were lying down, naked, we hugged each other like we never did before. Finally, we fell asleep on each other’s arms.
After the first evening with Gian’s family, I finally became more comfortable in meeting and seeing his family. I felt like I was part of it. They never treated me like an outsider and that truly made me happy. I like had a new family.
The next days that follow had been very hectic for me, and for Gian. But like the usual, we would always have enough time for each other. We would reserve our after-class moments with each other and we would often go out and have dinner somewhere in the campus.
That’s another one thing common between me and Gian, our love for food. We would usually do food-hopping and we will roam around the campus trying to uncover places for good food. That probably made us even closer.
As the defense for our thesis came nearer and nearer, I began to feel my nerves kicking in big time. I feel the pressure and the intensity of the period, but Gian made me calm down. His help and encouragement always keeps me going.
There will be times that I almost fell asleep as I was typing this part of the paper when Gian would suddenly rub my back and wake me up, while offering a cup of coffee. Those were the times that always remind me of the fact that I am now finally not alone, and that there is someone willing to accompany me even if the going gets tough.
Of course, our stay in their house also became often, although if we could help it, we would just stay at the nearest café somewhere in Katipunan so that we won’t need to bother Gian’s family.
He would always insist though that their house is always open for us, but it is our own choice to minimize going there since it’s already really embarrassing, most specially because Tita Sita, Gian’s mom always try to prepare something sumptuous for us to eat while we’re there.
There are already enough of them in the family and feeding four more mouths is just too much.
We tried to get food delievered once but Tita Sita seemed a little hurt at what we did for she thought we didn’t like her cooking. That was the last time we ever ordered food. We can’t help but to let Tita cook whenever we’re there.
Don’t get me wrong. I love Tita Sita’s cooking and most specially, I like always being with Gian in his house but the embarrassment just got into me.
Danny, on the other hand finally let go of me and Gian. She began to leave us alone and not anymore pry on our own private lives. She began to be more cheerful and accommodating to Gian and surprisingly, they began to get along well. Even better than what I expected.
At first, I feel comfortable now that she finally brushed the idea that we might be together, but I still smelled something fishy with the way she treated him. She became too close with the guy that I can now finally leave the two alone together without anymore thinking or worrying that I might find them trying to stab each other with a knife.
I don’t know but I felt like Danny was trying to get Gian’s soft side so she could finally dig deep about his personal connection with me.
The thought actually scared the hell out of me when one time, Gian told me that he thinks she starting to like Danny more.
I was little alarmed at what Gian said but I tried to keep my calm. I just told him that he should be a little cautious about Danny. I know her too well that sometimes, she would not really stop until she gets what she wants.
I just tried to warn Gian but she kept on insisting that she’s not like that. I truly hoped he was correct and that everything I’m thinking was just part of my paranoid imagination. Anyway, I wouldn’t think Danny would go that far just to know whether were together.
Danny had always been close with Gian since the pillow incident and they would talk and laugh together. It is only when Vic is around that she would start to distance herself from me and Gian. I think that Vic knows the past between me and Danny and she probably didn’t want that former to get jealous.
If only I hadn’t known Gian, I would think that he’s probably starting to like Danny in a different way. But what totally caught me off-guard was this one time when we were talking.
“Beshie, do you think there is a possibility that I would fall in love with another girl?”
I was a little taken aback by his question but I acted as if I was not surprise.
“Well, it’s not impossible. Though it still is you who can asnwer that.” I tried to play it cool as I seriously answered his question. I was starting to worry where our conversation would lead to.
“Uhm, I don’t know. Lately, I had been surrounded by girls. At school, in the council, even when I’m with you, I’m being surrounded by girls. There was Ate Rina, Ate Charm, and…” Gian paused for a while and he looked at me but I was still busy typing something on the computer for our paper.
“…And Ate Danny.” I suddenly stopped typing when I heard her name. But he might notice it so I continued typing as if I didn’t hear what he said.
“Try to gauge yourself beshie. I know you. From head to toe. Even if we haven’t been together for a long time already, I know that you are not like any straight guy I know. You are not obvious, that’s for sure, but when we’re together, haha, you can’t hide anything from me. But of course, you’re still a guy. And you still got that attraction towards girls. Haha” I almost died after saying that.
“Then why are you laughing? Is there somehting funny?” Gian’s voice started to get serious.
“Well, I’m laughing because I don’t know why you are asking me those stupid questions.” I said in response, also trying to maintain the seriousness in my voice.
“So you think I’m stupid now? You think what I’m feeling now is just non-sense? Is that what you meant Marky? Huh?” Gian was starting to raise his voice.
“I didn’t mean that, no. What I wanted to say is, you and I are together. You know that. Why would you, all of a sudden, bring that topic up, and with me, of all people?”
“Because I thought, of all people, you would understand! I thought of all people, you will be the one who could tell me without you judging me. But it seemed like I was wrong. When I met you, all I see was the side of me who likes guys. Sometimes, I would even think that you are turning me more gay than ever. You, of all people, should be the least person for the job!”
“Now, you’re trying to put it all on me. Ha, Gian? Are you blaming me that you are like that? That you are gay? Is that what you mean? Why? Gian, tell me! Why are you doing this? Did I do something wrong? Weren’t you happy anymore? Am I not satisfying you anymore? Or was it about someone else?” Those words all came out my mouth without brakes. I was just too furious to hear those statements from the least person I would expect it from.
“Answer me Gian! Was it about Danny?” I hate to admit it, but I blurted out what I had been trying to hide from Gian. I was jealous. I know I shouldn’t have been, but from what I saw, I have all the reasons to.
“I… Uhm… Marky…”
As Gian started to stutter and kept silent with the mention of Danny’s name. I know we have a problem. I thought it was nothing. But now, I’m facing the first huge conflict in my relationship with Gian. And I don’t know if I can handle it. I’m scared. Honestly, for the first time, I really felt at a lost.