Just a familiar name. Nothing unusual. Some people call me Marky, some do even add boy in the end. But regardless of what name they call me, nothing changed.
I'm not saying I'm the kind of person who won't pay you any heed. I know how to converse, it's just that most often than not, I decide to just keep quiet and stay out of other people's business. I guess there is a lot to know about me. I hate describing myself so I usually give others the freedom to sort me out.I answer when asked nicely and I talk when needed, pretty straightforward. No icing on the cake. I just simply want to be me.
Talking about being me, I want to be honest. I'm currently a discreet bisexual. Yes. I'm bisexual, and yes I'm discreet. Probably a lot of you would raise either your left or your right brow after reading this. "How come he is bisexual yet discreet? Why bisexual, isn't that just a euphemism for being gay? Or is he just afraid to come out of the closet so he still maintain that masculine aura despite the fact that he yearns for a boy to love him?" These are probably the thoughts that most people think when they hear me say 'discreet bisexual'. Well, I can't blame them. It's probably because of the bias image of society in terms of labeling people.
I'm not really a fan of labels but for the purposes of having an identity, I chose those two words. Well, they are the ones that really describe me as of the moment. Yes, I do like both boys and girls and yes, I don't shout it to the world. I say "currently" because I believe that sexuality is fluid. Well, I'm not saying that I'll become straight over night, it's just that we really can't say what is in store for us in the future. Sexuality is a role and sometimes, we change roles every now and then. But of course, it's not always the case. People have their own thoughts about this and I won't refute that. I just want to express my own opinion. We have a mind of our own and we decide for ourselves. Nothing can really stop you from thinking, it's just that voicing it out is a different story.
Apart from the fact that I'm known to be a happy person, there is still this hidden personality of mine which I don't want others to know or see. I have built walls around me and I made sure they are strong enough to hide what's within. Only a few people were able to break these boundaries I set. One of them is Danny.
Anyway, my mom doesn't want me to live on my own so I guess it's a plus for her. Since I'm an only child, my mom is slightly being too overprotective of me. I would often hear myself say, "Ma, I'm a guy not a girl!" but my mom would just ignore my ranting. My mom is someone you don't want to argue with. She surely always win. Sometimes, I even thought to myself that she probably talked to the people in the dormitory admin to deny my application. Everyday since then, I need to spend two hours sitting on the bus and wasting my time just to get to school.
I pulled out the map which was now already torn and I tried looking for the nearest food stop.
After getting my order, I scanned the place to look for an empty table but there was none. I was about to give up when I saw someone waving at me. Since I'm wearing glasses, I tried to adjust my vision as I figure out who was the person.
I thought it was one of my high school classmates, but as I came closer, I found out that it was the girl who helped me find my room a while back. She was smiling at me while fixing her own eyeglasses as I approached her.
"Hey! How are you? Where you able to find your room?"
She actually just came from Switzerland where she studied for years. That explains why she speaks English fluently. Both her parents are Filipino but they migrated to Switzerland ever since she was young. She also told me that I should not worry in terms of speaking Tagalog for she understands the language. She is just not used to speaking in our mother tongue.
We kept on talking and sharing things with each other as if we were alone in the place. We didn't mind the others and we just focused on ourselves as we shared our own stories. It just means that we were both really having a good time.
I stared at the name for a while and thought o myself,
"This sure is going to be an interesting college life!"